Sunday Morning.

伯牙和子期都是男的。

2010-10-22T02:23:00.005+08:00

伯牙絕弦，是一個短短的，內蘊卻深深的友情的故事。思念的心無法翻山越嶺，只恨沒有一個竹蜻蜓。

友誼好似愛情，可以經營，但是無法強求。有些朋友是某年某月某日的朋友，有保存期限﹔有些朋友是一輩子的，不管在人生什麼階段，他永遠都會在那裡。這對閨密不用甜如蜜的膩在一起，卻有著君子之交淡如水的深刻，理智的一起面對人生。

也許曾經有這麼美好的回憶，現在的我，更深刻感到無比的空虚。

有人希望蔡康永能形容他與小S的關係，蔡康永回答：“一种不用结合的爱”。
好感人....

能够让你完全放松的朋友值得留恋，在你需要时会为你付出的朋友也值得你为他付出 ---- 蔡康永

如果有來生，要做一棵樹，站成永恆，沒有悲歡的姿勢。一半在土里安詳，一半在風里飛揚，一半灑落陰涼，一半沐浴陽光。非常沉默，非常驕傲，從不依靠，從不尋找....

時間會帶走很多。有時，未必。

真正的朋友，不管對方做了什麼都不會怪對方。不只是朋友，兄弟更是這樣。

你住在心裡很安全。

看透了人間聚散能不能多點快樂片斷？

你有我沒有過的嚮往我才會一路苦苦追趕。痴痴不放的癡狂怎會在多年以後變成這樣？

不肯死去的從前陪著我還在等誰？

是哭過也掙扎過心讓痛輾過。

When we meet again, we'll probably talk about the weather, cause that's what people do when they grow apart.

請告訴我暫停算不算放棄？

Because people lie, things change, partners cheat, and best friends ditch.

HE IS NOT THE PERSON YOU ONCE KNEW. BELIEVE IT, PLEASE.

one of my text:
the change-response of those who are bereaved by the passing of a close friend or family member. the 7 steps are:
1. a process of realization, ie.the way in which de bereaved person moves from denial/avoidance of recognition of de loss 2wards acceptance.
2. an alarm of reaction - anxiety, restlessness, and the psychological accompaniments of fear.
3. an urge to search for and find the lost person in some form.
4. anger and guilt, including outbursts directed against those who press the bereaved person toward premature acceptance of his loss.
5. feelings of internal loss of self or mutilation.
6. identification phenomena-de adoption of traits, mannerisms or symptoms of de loss person, w or w/o a sense of his presence within de self
7. pathological variants of grief, ie. the reaction may be excessive and prolonged or inhibited and inclined to emerge in distorted form.
it is crucial to remember that for every change proposed or achieved, someone loses something (Harvey 1990).

我好想隨著輕輕的風輕輕的飄，歷經的傷都不感覺疼....

Going into heart-to-heart friendship is like giving some1 a gun & letting them point it at ur heart, & TRUSTING they won't pull the trigger.

如果你有天回頭什麼都不必說，只要靜靜坐在身旁讓風並肩吹過。

我背叛了自己，是為了要完全失去你。我背叛了回憶，因為我不想一切成為過去。 - 朱孝天

someone send me this "wounds from a friend can be trusted".

Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other.
You could talk to them for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they wont judge you.
This person is your soulmate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go.

1 of the best parts of being a family is that u can encourage 1 another. U can believe in 1 another. U can affirm 1 another. ~ S.Covey

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. ~ Erma Bombeck

我第一次聽到這首歌時，我想到了你。
想到的是等我路過新加坡時，我們還是會和往常一樣一起去唱歌。
一起唱這首歌。

以前的我肯定會很有自信的說：“你是我的子期，我是你的子期。”
那股信心是你給我的。
當然也包括周圍的人。
你說我是你最好的朋友。
大家都對我說我們是最好的朋友。

現在的我會很有自信的說：“你是我的子期。”
後面那一句沒了吧。

人生在世知己難覓知音難尋
知人知面知己知彼又知心古人說這就是所謂知音
相知相惜相親相愛也相憶朋友你會不會常把我想起
何年何月何日何時再相聚何時能把酒言歡暢回憶
很多很多很深很深的回憶很多歌我只想要為你唱起

再見王子

2010-07-15T00:26:00.003+08:00

二十歲的我要和當年二十六歲的你說再見了.
再見了，我的王子....

18th Dec '06

Don't want.

2010-06-21T01:36:00.002+08:00

Aren't there suppose to be for friends?

He was suppose to be my best friend.

We were suppose to accomplish great things together.

I hate those past-tense up there.

I hate myself switching on the computer.

懦弱

2010-04-25T23:22:00.006+08:00

Suddenly, the pain came back tonight.. I don't know why..

Probably....

because recently, too many people are trying to tear open and look inside my wound.

Just please stop. Please don't try to open up my heart and see what's inside. The thought of the act reminds me of someone and reminds me of the memories..

So what's the problem that I've changed?

So what's the problem that I don't talk like I used to do?

So what's the problem that I don't laugh like that past?

So what's the problem that I don't smile like the past?

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM ABOUT ME 很努力的讓自己快樂？

因為我學到太容易得到的快樂並不會長久

因為那是別人借我的

拿回去了就沒了

my best friend, he trust me over the rumors.

2010-04-25T22:43:00.008+08:00

My best friend is someone whom when I tell other people:

“就算他要分手也不會那麼快的。 因為這麼難才能在一起，他也有男人的尊嚴的。”

(I remembered that sentence clearly, how I phrase it and the tone I said it because I was trying to convince other people that my best friend is not a bad guy. I said it twice.)

and when people misunderstand that sentence and tell him:

"now you are not breaking up because of your pride"

he will chose to trust me rather than other people.

Just like how I trust him over other people.

And of course my best friend is clear about my principle from the start:

"the closer the person is to me, I won't be close with their partner."

Because I am clear how 同情心氾濫 I am. So to prevent any problems that will arise in the future, I make clear lines with their partner, so that their problems won't be mine and my friend's.

Of course along the poly life, I didn't stand strong with my principle thrice and I made friends with my friends partner.

One is inevitable because the 3 of us are classmate.

Second is because the partner happens to be my friend's best friend and the 同情心氾濫 me, in the end 同情心氾濫 again and again.

Third is because I got no choice, she happens to be my group mate.

Oh what's that fan page over at facebook?

Right that "Relationships And Friendships Get Ruined Because Of Rumors.."

I'm joining that fan page....

And I feel like telling those people who don't know the existence of this blog,

please don't try to open up my heart

because

just the thought of it makes me feel tired and disgusted.

不愛孤單. 但一久了，我好像也習慣了..

2010-03-19T16:02:00.007+08:00

如果我最快樂的那一年有大聲得把這首歌唱出來就好了，或許今天就不會這麼行屍走肉了....

我最快樂的那一年　
是你陪我經歷這一切
什麼都生動又強烈　
有真正在活著的感覺
我們最快樂的那一年　
像濃縮了最精華的時間
短暫卻永遠是火焰　

Sometimes, I can be so certain that if I was really thrown to the opposite lane last thursday morning, I would be happier.

Sorry Mt,

2010-03-17T01:20:00.003+08:00

I was looking through files then I realized that you asked me to hear 真的吗？by Yoga, and it took me 1year and 8months to realized that. You said this song of his suit me....

It's not like what they'd say. You didn't take me for granted. All along I was the one taking you for granted. And it's the moment I lose you that I realized that I never once told you or express to you how much I cherish you, never once through words or my mouth admitted that you are my best friend. I only starts telling you how I cherish and how important you are in my life when things starts to turn bad. It's too late to you isn't it.. After reading so many files these months that I found out that you are always the one saying great things to me, showing me how you care about me, you are even and always the one who said I'm your best friend. Why I didn't tell you that you are my best friend? Why I didn't show you care in the past? Why I never did anything for you? Why I never do anything for you? I never even said thank you once. For all the wonderful things you had done for me, I never once said thank you. I never once admit how important are you. You are always the one doing things, telling me what am I to you but I never did once.

They are wrong. You didn't take me for granted, I'm the worst person in this world who kept taking you for granted.

Times of my life.

2010-03-14T01:22:00.003+08:00

Memories of the four of them came back this past week.

Was walking from Clark Quay to Cityhall last Friday, memories caught me unprepared. Kelvin, Ben and me. We once walked the same route and the 2 guys start talking about their dream. Kelvin, nah it's a pek, a pek and Ben said they want that particular 3 buildings near the bridge to have our own professional looking photos to be rolled down from the top. Although my mouth kept criticizing them that their dream was ridiculous, but deep down in my heart, I hold a possibility that it will come true because they are Kelvin Ho and Ben Huang.

Kept having flash backs these few days.

Kelvin will message me when the train leaves Jurong East station and I'll meet him at the last cabin. =)
We will gossip all the way until we meet Ben, most probably it's Cityhall. =)
Then the three of us will spend our time together. The 2 guys will be having their nonsense and I'll be there suan-ing them. Although I always show them a 'whatever face', but they never once failed to warm my heart and every of their nonsense makes me really happy inside. =)
Oh, sometimes Singkiat will join us when he got the feel and when his emo feels arises. Oh, and sometimes Singkiat can give the 3 of us a shock that we don't know how to react for a moment. =)
We'll go sing Kbox 2 times a week, play pool everyday, watch all the movies showing, play bowling and just slack around the town. =)
We'll part at Cityhall and Ben will be the only one travelling East, I will be with the other 2 guys travelling West. Ben will pull my hand when the escalators meet. =)
Or probably, it's time to stayover at Singkiat's home. I can't join them for sure, but the 3 guys will sure accompany me till at least 9pm. Or the other way round, I'll accompany Kelvin and Singkiat until Ben is back from packing. =)
Or maybe they'll come over to my house and stayover when my family is back in Batam. =)
Then when I get home, I'll continue my chat with the 3 guys via MSN and sometimes, Kelvin and me will be on the phone discussing about what to do next and test out what will happen. =)

I really miss the four of you.

And today on the way back, memory flashbacks caught me unprepared again. I asked myself, what if there's really next life?
Then I'll make sure that, I will not for Ruth give up Singkiat. I will not for Shiqi give up on Kelvin. I will not for the whole group give up on the 2 of them.

That time, it didn't incurred to me that the happiest moment was spent with the 3 of them. My fault.

2 months ago, Kelvin told me something that I didn't know for the past year, something Singkiat asked Kelvin. I feel so sad over it. Then I forced myself to drink and get the courage one of the night and I messaged Singkiat telling him how sorry I am. And I want to say again tonight, Singkiat I'm sorry.

When 3 left 1, I don't want to lose Ben. I told him before, one night at Outrum, don't leave me and disappear like Kelvin and Singkiat did. But at that I'm so sure there's something I cannot do, and that thing that I can't force myself to do will hinder our friendship. After considering about it and before we start to struggle, I told Ben let's give up. He didn't want to. And now when I really can't give up anymore, he'd gave up.
I really can't force myself to break my own rules and force myself to do something I hate, but Ben said don't give up, so I decided to do something I dislike, I decided to close one eye. To just see what I want, to just hear what I want. But it all didn't help. I don't want history to repeat this time and I decided firmly that I will not, this time for the group or for anyone give up on Ben. I don't want Ben to be another Singkiat or Kelvin.

But in the end, I lose Ben. Why he give up without tell me and give up when I already can't. Why didn't he just let me go when I ask him to. Why he let me go now, when I already can't?

Every step I took was all mistakes.
Nothing is right.

I kept reveling these things here recently, cause I have no more Kelvin or Ben to share to now.

Oh no, probably this is one of the daily essays that Ben requires me to submit to him every night before 0000hrs. Ben knows every problem I'm facing cause he trained me to make it a habit to report them to him every night. Ben never fails to comfort me and makes me sleep well for the night. Sometimes he will give me answers to my problems and when things gets out of hand, he always tells me to leave everything to him.

I'm going back to viao and find what Ben says about today's essay.

回頭看怕懦弱，往前走怕墜落....

2010-03-10T00:49:00.005+08:00

你告訴過我,
說:
當我想變不見時
就算我不想對任何人說
我也得告訴你, 一定要第一個告訴你
你說可以我才可以變不見

我累了....
畏........
這次我可以變不見嗎?

我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶擺在心底不管別人說的多麼難聽誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你 =)

2010-03-07T23:22:00.003+08:00

忘記分開後的第幾天起
喜歡一個人看下大雨
沒聯絡　孤單就像連鎖反應
想要快樂都沒力氣

雷雨世界像場災難電影
讓現在的我可憐到底
對不起　誰也沒有時光機器
已經結束的　沒有商量的餘地

我希望你　是我獨家的記憶
擺在心底　不管別人說的多麼難聽
現在我擁有的事情
是你　是給我一半的親情

我喜歡你　是我獨家的記憶
誰也不行　從我這個身體中拿走你
在我感情的封鎖區
有關於你　絕口不提　沒問題

雷雨世界像場災難電影
讓現在的我　可憐到底
對不起　誰也沒有時光機器
已經結束的　沒有商量的餘地

我希望你　是我獨家的記憶
擺在心底　不管別人說的多麼難聽
現在我擁有的事情
是你　是給我一半的親情

我喜歡你　是我獨家的記憶
誰也不行　從我這個身體中拿走你
在我感情的封鎖區
有關於你　絕口不提　沒關系

我希望你　是我獨家的記憶
擺在心底　不管別人說的多麼難聽
現在我擁有的事情
是你　是給我一半的親情

我喜歡你　是我獨家的記憶
誰也不行　從我這個身體中拿走你
在我感情的封鎖區
有關於你　絕口不提　沒限期

The hardest part of gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche.

2010-02-28T02:17:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus

-Heart of Worship

我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你

2010-02-25T04:22:00.003+08:00

我找到了一句全世界最動聽的話;

15 March 2008
1:53am

命運好幽默.

2010-02-25T01:54:00.002+08:00

我不難過這不算什麼 =)

"我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你"

The start of gaining marks the start of losing. The more you gain, the more you lose and the more it hurts.

2010-02-23T01:15:00.007+08:00

Seems like it was just yesterday when I get up the moment the alarm rang and I can't wait to be the first to arrive in class and see the expression of everyone when they enter the classroom. Then I don't know why, I was down with a fever, went into a coma state and everything changes.

I didn't realise it when I woke up, it is when I step into school that I realised that those fun people around me turns to devil like people who came asking me what happen. I was sick, stuck in bed, I don't know what happen.

My best friend, once he was someone whom I really want to spend my life and even my next lifes to be best friends with. I walked in to SP with nothing. Then he brought me into this group, I devoted the most of me to my best friend and the group. To be beside them when they need me even when it's midnight. To be there ever ready to lend a hand. I was so thankful to my best friend that I want to give him all I can. He said his secondary schoolmates left him, so on his first birthday since I met him, I wanted to give him friends, not one, not two but a group. I wanted to tell him.... But it all doesn't matter now, cause I'd became part of those secondary school friends he had. The least I want to became but in the end I landed myself there and I don't know how did it all happened.

I want to forgive myself, but I don't know what wrong things I've done when I was sick. The inability to call my best friend to find out what happened when I was lying on the bed? or the fact that I was sick? I really don't know how to answer their questions. On one hand, I have to face those endless questions posed to me everyday after school, on the other hand, I have to comfort the person at the other end of the message. I have to clear the mess everyday, I don't know what I'm clearing, all I know is to settle those people with their questions so that they don't view my best friend as a heartless guy. But, do you all know, I don't even have the time to ask my best friend how was his life and my best friend was no where to be seen. See that pun over there? People ask where did my best friend goes but they just don't believe that I don't know anything. I didn't blame my best friend for anything, not even when he just left me there in the mess he created, not even when he announced to the world that he likes it when I don't trust him. No matter what he do, I give him all my trust as I promised when the friendship started. But what I realised was that those people that we know posed a great threat to our friendship, the more they thinks I know must have known and the more they ask about him. I starts to doubt the friendship, do I really know my best friend? Am I really my best friend's best friend? Then I know, to save the friendship between me and my best friend, I have to maintain a distance from them. I don't want to give them a chance to break the relationship that I cherish most.

I asked myself what really happened. At first I thought it was because I didn't really hold on well to the friendship before I was sick, therefore I let our friendship to crack. Then I decided to hold on it well and make sure it don't slip off this time. But in the end, I left SP with nothing. I've lost. i've lost everything but it all doesn't matters, what it hurt me most everyday is that I've lost the relationship that I was so prepared to hold on for life. The moment I thought of the lost, tears just flows down. The lost of a best friend, you experience it before? It's just like a lost of a family member whom you knew since young. The one that you thought he knows you best, when you can't figure out what's happening and he is always the one whom show you the way. The one you are in the same boat with and you know when thunderstorm comes, he will surely be there to hold on to you. Then suddenly one day, he was gone. Just like the wind, gone. You don't have the time to react, no preparation, nothing. The lost of this friendship hurts more than the lost of Wonyoung. And now I believe the person who once told me that I treat friends much better than boyfriend. I show more care, more concern and friends comes right after my family. My best friend is my family, he is part of my family. He is one of my siblings that I never wanted to lose.

The moment I see him walking with those people that was a threat to our friendship, I feel the pain. The pain just grasp my heart and it was so painful that I feel like telling it to my best friend before I sleep. But I've forgotten, my best friend is gone. Suddenly, I got no one to turn to. No one to be there listening to me and show me the way and lead me to a different angle and see things from a different view. My best friend no longer reply my message, no longer picks up my call. My best friend is gone. I don't know who to tell and then one day, while clearing my files in my computer, I saw a folder containing conversations. I found the ones that I had with my best friend and I was addicted to reading it everyday. Like taking drugs, I use it to maintain imaginary conversations with my best friend, like nothing ever happened. I tell everything to the best friend in my memories and then I'll look through files over files to find for a reply that can answer my questions. My best friend became a memory, someone in my heart whom sometimes I can't even remember how he looks like but his words never left me, not even one second.

And today, even when we became strangers, I hold on to those promises and hopes he once wanted us to complete together. I study everyday, hoping that he will too. I goes to school everyday even when I woke up late, hoping that he will too. I go to church every Sunday, hoping that he will too. I went to the God he wanted us to walk towards together. I continued with piano, hoping that he will continue with his violin. I work towards a 3.5 everyday, hoping that he will too. So many things he wanted us to do together, and now all I can do is to complete them all by myself and the more I get nearer to those goals, the more it hurts me.

The talk that he said he wanted to have with pastor before I went overseas last december. The last phone call we had. The fact when January begins, I know that it's not going to happen. My best friend, if he really wants to do something, he can't wait to accomplish it. The fact that it's January means he is not going to do it anymore. A talk which he said he wanted and I wanted to gave to him is not coming true. But I dreamt about it last saturday night. As a third party, I saw pastor, him and me sitting at a cafe talking. I can't hear what they were talking about, I was outside the cafe but just that image alone, warms my heart so much. I was really happy for the two sitting down there.

I became part of the secondary school friends, those friend of his who up till today I don't understand why they want to let go of such a great friend's hands.
I let go of my best friend's hands, cause I want him to be happy. Because I want to see the smile that I had in my memory, the smile he always gave when he is really happy. I don't know how to explain it, but I know the type of smile he would give when he is really happy. For the past one year, I never got the chance to see it and so I let go of his hands. I love that smile, and I can't bare to see it not happening again. My best friend..

My best friend is gone, no where to be found.
Didn't leave a message, didn't leave a note, not even a bye.
My handsome dog is gone. He's dead.

Can you give me back all the things that belongs to me? Can money buy them? Can I give you money in exchange for what you have snatched from me? What have I done wrong? I didn't harm your family, I don't even know you, I don't even realise your existence. Why take away all my things? I did nothing to you. Can you just give me back? Imagine someone you don't know just came running in to your life and create a mess and take away the family member that you cherish so much. I really want back my friendship, can I buy back from you?

2010-02-19T08:13:00.001+08:00

Fuck.
I must be mad last night.
So I don't get drunk when I drink, I get drunk when I'm having a fever.

38.5

2010-02-18T23:12:00.002+08:00

i feel like eating corn. not those corn in a cup with salt and butter. is those real corns with leaves still on them, then you steam them in a pot/wok. sweetness.
imaging that alone can make me smile already.. =)

You alone cannot change the world.

2010-02-13T22:56:00.004+08:00

some times
we reaches part of our life
things seem to be moving on
we are walking
but we arent moving
so its time to ask ourself why
find back our purpose
and pursure our dreams
to live life to the fullest
u can blame what u have been thru for the past 18 years
or u can enjoy whats ahead of u
and face each day as a fresh start
and start of the day by giving thx to God that ur alive toda
and u can see colours
u can hear nice songs
u can smell nice scent from flowers

All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the past together again.

2010-02-10T00:12:00.009+08:00

沒那麼簡單　
就能找到　聊得來的伴
尤其是在　
看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安　只好強悍
沒那麼簡單　
就能去愛　別的全不看
變得實際　
也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單　一久也習慣
感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話　隨便聽一聽
自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒　
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上　關上了手機
舒服窩在沙發裡

過了愛作夢的年紀　
轟轟烈烈不如平靜

什麼都不懂的年紀　
曾經最掏心　
所以最開心　
曾經

想念最傷心
但卻最動心
的記憶

Was having the usual birthday talk with lee junhao that day over the phone.
He was my first karaoke mate and probably that was why we always fall in love for the same songs and the qualities that we look for in a song are very similar.
Its not the melody that we are looking for, its the words that matter most.
We'll get attracted to a particular song because of the lyrics, and just one sentence is enough to make us fall for the particular song.
It doesn't requires the full lyrics, just a sentence written it is enough to describe your feelings. Just a sentence, it is enough to bring back endless memories.
It is not about the intention and the story that the person who wrote the lyrics was trying to bring across.
It is about how you relate to the lyrics in your own way, in your own story.
A powerful song is enough to kill with a sentence.

After that particular sentence that grabs your attention, the melody of the song comes into the picture.

The melody accompanied with the images that are flashing in your mind and that is how scary a song can be.

Therefore, sometimes, I stop myself from listening to music.

Lee junhao was sharing with me the new song sang by Yoga, 心酸.
Yeah, just the sentence at the beginning which wrote "时间的伤翻云覆雨了什么从我手中夺走了什么", is enough to set me thinking about the things that happened and how they had changed me.
What Yoga sings after that, doesn't really matters anymore.

Time.
We talk about how we have grown and the little things that has happened these 8 years.
Until today, I can't help it but to think of LeeJunHao everytime when I hear “他一定很愛你”.
It was once his favourite song and he sings that song everyday.
Memories.

Time.
In the past, I have this special fond for "第一時間“ and "我們的歌”.
I wanted to have the kind of bond that they mention in their songs, and I believe that I can do those actions mentioned and I believed that I can find someone else who can do those too.
After so many things, I finally understand that what F4 and LeeHom sang are all just, sadly, bullshit.
They are just imaginary things that doesn't exist.

IngIng is not a good friend, not anymore.

IngIng is not the best, not anymore.

IngIng is not a miracle, not anymore.

If only life can be interpreted so easily like maths equation.

2010-02-07T02:45:00.003+08:00

Planned to camp at SK's house tonight and get myself drunk to the MAX but my dear bro, Kel, was sick and plan was cancelled last minute. S.A.D~ Such a good timing to get drunk cause we finally finished our FYP and I got nothing on tomorrow. awww....

Then near 11pm, Andrew called and I landed myself in tpy again with the 3 Xiao brothers.

Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, but somewhere in the middle we‘d became best of friends.

2010-02-04T22:48:00.005+08:00

最掏心所以最開心 , 曾經　

好好的一句話為甚麼要在後面加句 “曾經” 呢？

想念最傷心但卻最動心的記憶

If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

2010-01-30T00:56:00.007+08:00

i want to blog in point form....
damm lazy to start work....
did some checking and forget it, tomorrow then start....
for a moment, i forgot i'd changed my phone and i stretch my hands to sony ericsson to check whether is there any unread msg....
SPEECHLESS.
finally i've found hanrong's song on youtube. the song he performed on superband....
hanrong is seriously damm talented....
i love his 別走錯....
i've been repeating that song for the whole night....
it's still playing now....
time check: 1.04am. hanrong gonna send me the softcopy of 別走錯....
i wanted to send the 'thank you mails' but i feel like leaving it to tomorrow too....
or should i start now?
i'm very afraid that times like these won't last and eventually, oneday some funny things will happen then they will also leave me....
will they?
so sometimes, i'm afraid to go near them....
i don't want to lose love ones again....
kinda excited about church this Sunday....
why twitter so quiet tonight?
haven been tumblr-ing....
there's a particular verse in 別走錯 that i can really understand....
even my email's inbox is so quiet....
January is coming to an end....
June is coming soon....
should i fly at May or June?
iPad sounds like it's a girl/woman thing....
you know what i mean.
both email's inbox is damm quiet....
even gmail's too....
oh, i haven blog about the celebration with church friends....
its 1.25am now. woots! i love this number!
I MISS LELE.
eh. actually i can relate to most of the lyrics in the song....
hanrong wrote the song for a particular purpose, although it don't applies to me but i can relate it in another way.
that's the power of a good song.
lawrence is his 御用導演. always....
蕭氏集團 is damm cool!
i've got a pocket; a pocket full of sunshine.
WHOO! FINALLY I RECEIVED THE SONG!
DOWNLOAD-ED.
THANK YOU!
happy! *skipping around*
i forgot to mention that sk did a LOL thing for me as a birthday present i supposed!
itchy. singapore's mosquito sucks....
it's kinda cool to blog in point form....
time check: 1:49am.
goodnight.
imy....

A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.

2010-01-28T23:31:00.006+08:00

you once joke to me that

later when i wake up, everything that happened was just a dream and there's never a you that appear in my life.

sometimes i really feels so. feels that it's all a dream and you never really appear before.

you once question me that

i said that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, yet i'm not giving myself to you at all.

today, do you still feels that i'm not giving you all i can?

you once told me that

if its all dark around, you will be the one shinning light at me.

its all dark around me tonight. How about your side, is it dark too?

no matter how hard i try to make you my family, you still want to a stranger who is just in for a ride?

why you just want to be a stranger?

can you please don't be a stranger?

and i know i'm pushing you away.

很遺憾，

我們從來沒有好好的拍過一張照片。

As perfume to the flower, so is kindness to speech.

2010-01-27T00:04:00.005+08:00

25th January 2010

Celebration from Andrew, Lawrence and Hanrong was an impromtu and surprised one.

Glad that I meet a group of fun and talented church friends and that's a blessing from God!

Went to sing k with Kel, Singkiat and Ken at Kallang. Did the usual things, and it's the usual things that we do that makes me happy. Like what Singkiat said, it's been a long time since Kel, me and him took train together. I'm glad that I made the right choice, I no longer feel those pair of eyes that will stare at my back if I talk to the both of them. Ken joined us instead, it's fated, I confirm.

26th January 2010

Kelvin and Carrie gave me a huge surprise. I really don't know what I've did that I deserved this present from them. I really don't know what to say cause I know for Kelvin to do some of the things inside the video he needs courage. I never did great things to Kelvin before. For his birthdays I din't do anything great, for his life I did nothing great too, moreover the those bad things I've did. For his birthday I did not put in a lot of effort, instead it was someone else birthday that I really put my heart in. I'm really lost for words cause I don't think I deserve such a wonderful gift. Carrie too, I really did nothing much and she put in so much effort doing the video.

Had a talk with Kelvin during lunch and I cried like how I'm crying now. There's just some emptiness inside that I'm still learning to live with it. Kelvin encouraged me to try for the one last time, but it's a thing that requires two hands to clap. I'm afraid.

Not a good friend, not anymore.

Not the best, not anymore.

Not a miracle, not anymore.

Somethings changed and it really changed.?

Are you really my family or you are just a stranger in for a ride?

That Awkward Silence .

And remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.

2010-01-25T03:14:00.003+08:00

24th January 2010

Advance celebration with family at Havelock Road and of course I love you Lele.

Andrew and Lawrence called me to find them at Braddel and join the usual chatting session.

They gave me a mini surprise celebration.

Hanrong joined in after he reached home.

Spend the last few moments of 19 years old with the 3 Xiaos brothers.

25th January 2010

Spend the first few moments of 20 years old with the 3 Xiao brothers.

This is the first time in my life asking for a birthday outing, and that request went to Kelvin.

Cause the happiest memory I had in poly life was spending time with Ben, Kelvin and Singkiat and therefore, just before I leave for Aust. I really want to experience it again. They don't need to do anything, just a normal Kbox session and that's the best birthday present I can have.

Let me be immune.

2010-01-24T17:19:00.004+08:00

What happened last holiday?

World Ready Youths.

2010-01-21T01:52:00.009+08:00

20th January 2010

Had an advanced birthday celebration with the Girls at marina square. =D

In alphabetical order and whether you took bus, train or mrt home, it doesn't matter.

thank you miss Cheang for your stall-bali and of course your milo ice cream in CUP and your HUGE fire gift for my fingers.

thank you miss Huang for your can't control laughing at c-di-link and your arrows which was aiming at me whole night.

thank you miss Kee for your ZOOM-ing with me and C-DI-LINK the joke of the decade.

thank you Miss Lee for your celery and your game which i'm really not good at.

thank you Miss Lim for your lousy camera which fails everytime and we don't know why AND thank you in advance for not using that holland V picture.

thank you miss Ong for your iphone which allow me to ZOOM and capture a picture.

Most importantly, Thank you Girls for giving me a chance to enjoy myself tonight.

Life is a Basketball match.

2010-01-18T00:20:00.002+08:00

Life is a basketball match.

You are the player and you have God with you.

Your enemies are the devils.

Your troubles, worries and anxiety is the basketball.

In the game,

it is a penalty to hold the ball and run.

You have to pass the ball to God,

and God will definitely do the best slum dunk for you.

Life is a basketball match.

I am the player and I have God with me.

My enemies are the devils.

My troubles, worries and anxiety is the basketball.

In the game,

it is a penalty to hold the ball and run.

I have to pass the ball to God,

and I believe that God will definitely do the best slum dunk.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Happiness sometimes can be very very simple.

2010-01-09T01:48:00.008+08:00

For example, talking with someone in the cyber world and for that moment you believed everything the other party said.

Then conversations like these became the way both of you speaks until eventually one day, you suddenly realised that both of you have not been speaking to one another in the way you used to. Subsequently, both of you stops talking to one another. Happiness stops somewhere there without you realising.

I was looking thur files in my vaio and trying to clear some unused files away. Then I came across a folder which contains lots conversations that I had been in MSN. I click on one of them and I saw tons of conversations that I had with different people.

No special feelings for anything past spoken words, until my eyes spotted a conversation that I'd long forgotten. I really don't remember about those words that I'd seen nor do I remember about the conversation.
Probably God was trying to do something tonight.

13th March 2008

i wan see u tml

serious?

serious
somethings change

speechless

but somethings neve change

i don get it
wat u mean?

see u tml ill explain it

har?
speechless

12 at somerset
cya there
anw
12 to 10 thats 10 hours exactly

so....?

so?

tomolo use all finish?

ill clock more tml

so its wat?

anw u will have punishment each time i cant see u
for every one sec=one hour

walao then u go out wif them for 10hrs straight n i not there, i'll
have to stick wif u my whole life?

well i saw ur sad face during pool toda
maybe(for ur qn)

then if u go out 2nd time wif them w/o me, i'll have to stick wif u for 2lifes?

u just have one life
so mayb after life

wow then wat will i turn to?

lets focus on the life first
then will decide who u will be afterlife

orh.... ok....
so really tomolo ar?

really
u gotta stick with me all ur life and be my best friend

haha speechless
lol
woah u can really make me laugh
thanks XXX=)

welcome
my pleasure
i am happier than u
cux i made u laugh

www.youtube.com....

wat do u think it means?

emm.... im the cat ur the dog?

ahahaha
ur trying to say i eat alot again

nono
-_-

did i make u laugh again?
ahaha

u make me dots....
haha
;P
actually everytime im down u try to make me happy so ya im the cat ur de dog
not fat dog but handsome dog la

woo
so i have to be ur dog all my life?

then i'll have to be ur cat all my life?

ahaha
yes

then wat can i say lor
set ba

set 爸

吧 u mean?

purposely la

oh ok got it
set 媽

ahahah
thxx
thanks God that u are being u
that u are special
there is no one like u
so ur the best inging in the entire world
and u will get better and better by days
by hours
by secs
thats the best inging
AMEN
Jesus Christ bless u

XXX can give me a hug tomolo?

if u wan
ahaha

seriously these few days my tigger din work
cos its too small le

ill get u a BIG one soon
ahaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

If I could. I would.

Snowing.

2010-01-06T01:03:00.002+08:00

kengchanayo?

希望窗外的大雪能讓你少抽點煙.

Heaven never helps the man who will not act.

2010-01-04T22:35:00.007+08:00

In HS I was suicidal all the time and had no friends and always ate alone. One day a classmate came and stole my lunch from me and sat it down at her table with her friends. Her daily refusal to allow me to eat by myself any longer gave me the strength to survive HS and not be so alone. She GMH

quoted from: www.GMH.com/?pg=8

This reminds me of a foodcourt incident that happened very long ago....
Well, at least in my point of view....

I Love You.

2009-12-31T12:42:00.004+08:00

I've decided to spread LeLe's presents over 3 weeks, so she will be receiving the last one on her actual birthdate!

Part ONE is coming this Saturday! =) Can't wait to see her happy face. She wanted that just like her Ing Ing! Ing Ing is so shock to find out that LeLe and Ing Ing fall in love for the same things!

Part TWO is coming up next Saturday on the 9th! I'm still planning.... but it will be confirmed soon! *smiles*

more coming up soon....

An important life skill is the ability to kick your own ass into action before someone else does it for you.

2009-12-30T22:03:00.003+08:00

I got so many things on mind that I want to give LeLe on her birthday. That, that, that, that and that. There's still this, this, this, this and this.

=) I can't wait for LeLe's birthday~!!!! *smiles*

Got a new hairstyle. =)

Loves. ♥

Time to grow up, stop wishing.

2009-12-28T01:23:00.007+08:00

Oh, did I mention about double degree somewhere in any of my post? haha.... If I had, it's ok to mention again isn't it? =)

I'd decided to take double Bachelor. Reason: I want to run far far away, start anew. Clean and fresh. No one knows what had happened. Double Bach. means can run away for a longer period of time!
A turtle reason, I know but that's the only way to start all over again.

Bachelor of Arts (Asian Studies)
&
still having a headache over the second one for like 3 months already.
Its either I abandon Business and take up Bachelor of Science (Psychology) or I continue with Business AND if I chose to continue with Business, I have to chose between either Commerce or Economics. Sadly to say, none among the 20 majors in the Commerce and Economics really interest me alot. =( However, I'd managed to highlight one which is Bachelor of Economics (International Business Economics). Not that it really interest me, but Bachelor of Commerce gives me the feeling that it's as useless as Diploma in Business Administration, the one I'm taking now. Do I need some corrections, or am I really right about this? SOS.

Have to work extra extra hard. If people put in 100% of their heart, I need to put in triple the effort.

Reason 1: I did not enter my dream school and course, NP's Business Studies. I did not appeal, which I could have successfully appeal if I did. I should have put JJC as my first choice, such a confirm seat and I gave it up. Can't find the reason why I landed up in SP's DBA. Maybe it's not the reason that I'm really finding, I'm just searching hard for a good thing that can make me be thankful about getting into SP's DBA. Unfortunately, looks like I really can't find one.

Reason 2: I wasted 1.5 yrs having "fun" that I regret now and "fun" that doesn't pay off emotionally. "Fun": Actually, thinking back, those times don't even seems fun now. It's just memories of how I'd wasted my time and effort and it became a constant reminder not to do those type of foolish things again, cannot trust people easily. Men are animals which can't be trusted.

Reason 3: I just found out that poly was really wasting my time. I could have been going into 3rd year of uni in one month time. I should have go straight to aust after O's, study one year of foundation and go straight into uni. Signs.... Hate to say this, but I should have done that rather than enduring all the shit.

I getting more than ready to go aust. I'm clear about the school I want to go into. Decided to stay in school's hostel for a year then move out by by the second year. I'd bought a new luggage. I'd bought a new notebook. I'd bought clothes to bring over. Do you feel that I'm getting more than ready for aust? Too over? haha.... Then Kelvin is way worst. I think it was one month ago when he started to tell me 'those speeches' as if we are bidding goodbye at Changi airport. Nevertheless, those encouragement warms a sad person's heart and those suggestions, I promise to consider them carefully. =)

The only thing left is to work hard, really hard, I'm only that little away from UWA. Must really work hard. I like the way, I'm worried every minute about results and projects during my 10 days of holiday. haha.... I even did project in such a far far away land! Imagine that! HAHAHAHA! I can see the competitive me coming back! woots! But this time different, in the past I'll work hard, play hard. This time, there's no such thing as play hard! It's work hard, study hard. So eventually, everything is about school's work and results! haha....

Initially, I had another wish about hoping that everything will be fine, even if its just a false appearance will be alright for me. But, ....

I won't wish for things that I'm not confident in anymore and the more I won't wish for things that requires two hands to clap. Cause....

Learnt not wish, hope and trust.

2009-12-28T00:16:00.005+08:00

What the toot!
92 for HRIS!?!?
Always score well for modules that I seldom attend. As for those that I put in 200% of effort, I gained shit marks in the end.

Signs....

In life too, those that I'd put in extra effort, always disappoint me.
Sometimes, everyday, I'll ask myself why.

After service today, I heard <<說好的幸福呢>> on tv and I realised that it was the 3rd sentence from the chorus that made me tear, everytime.

The most handsome Mexican dimples.

2009-12-26T00:43:00.004+08:00

He's Chief.

*smiles*

Everyone says HELO to Chief!!!!

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

2009-12-16T21:35:00.004+08:00

Suddenly, I know what I want:

Get a company who I can really talk to.
Rent couples of interesting movies.
Buy bottles of red wine.
Sit at a cosy living room.

and

Watch movies like there's no tomorrow;
talk about anything under the sun;
laugh together till our stomachs pain;
and slowly enjoy bottles after bottles of wine.

That's something that I really want to try out one day....
I bet I will love it.... =)

Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.

2009-12-16T00:36:00.006+08:00

Calla Lilies are too difficult to make, so I've decided to make my next favourite, White roses!

*Jiang Jiang*

25 of them! Yes, 25, nice number right? Heeees....

And I'm going to share my love with people I love and cherish cause it's Christmas, a season of thanksgiving! =) I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! for no reason, HAHA =D

This belongs to Ing Ing~! =D

HuiHui's(L) & Carrie's(R).

Gave them before school ends. Just in time. =)

The Girls, all 6 of them.

Will be out of Singapore, so I pass all to Huiping yesterday! I know Huiping Loves it cause she keep asking me to make a bouquet for her. Too bad Huiping, I'm not your boyfriend. Ask your BOYFRIEND make ok? Feel free to find me to teach him, with a fee of course. As you know nothing is free. =) Oh, just use plastic bag, thats the best solution I can think of. =p

Bai SinLee's(L) & Lee JunHao(R).

Sinlee was home late, so I went to bubbletea shop and pass it to her mum! From her tweet, I know she loves it just like Huiping! WOAH HAHAHAHA

And of course my 10 year buddy LEE JUNHAO who thought that I'm going to pass him my wedding invitation. YEAH, LEE JUNHAO I'll make sure you will be the first to get it in the future and you better make sure you give me the biggest angbao.

Ok, back to what happened: Lee JunHao wore ahma clothes and HIS MUM's SLIPPERS to meet me. I was like !@#$%^&! Even more @%^#&* was that he blame me for meeting him late and therefore missed his formal wear.

I want to stop tweeting, tumblring, facebooking & blogging.

2009-11-30T00:04:00.004+08:00

ING ING WANTS TO GO OUT AND PLAY =(
ING ING WANTS TO GO OUT DINNER =(
ING ING WANTS TO GO WATCH SOME MOVIES =(
ING ING WANTS TO GO OUT WALK WALK =(
ING ING WANTS TO HAVE A SHORT GETAWAY =(
ING ING WANTS TO HAVE SOME FUN =(
ING ING WANTS TO HAVE SOME LAUGHTER IN LIFE =(
ING ING WANTS TO ESCAPE =(
ING ING NEED SOME ESCAPE =)
ING ING NEED SOME LAUGHTER IN LIFE =)
ING ING NEED SOME FUN =)
ING ING NEED A SHORT GETAWAY =)
ING ING NEED TO GO OUT WALK WALK =)
ING ING NEED TO WATCH MOVIES =)
ING ING NEED TO GO OUT AND HAVE DINNER =)
ING ING NEED TO GO OUT AND PLAY =)

Whoo~!

2009-11-28T00:41:00.004+08:00

I feel so much better after talking to Kel Ho lah! =D

Thanks Kelvin!!!!
hehes =D

Christmas is coming.

2009-11-25T23:58:00.004+08:00

It stops growing when I stop questioning.

2009-11-22T19:33:00.007+08:00

健常說 "為什麼要看溏心風暴? 我們從小看到大的更精彩."
哈哈!!!!

Singapore's malays have their wedding under HDB flat.
Singapore's indians have their wedding at Golden Landmark.
hahahaha

My heart asks me to buy the earpiece/headphone my sisters brought but my mind says NO. Awww....

It's our territory.

2009-11-20T23:58:00.007+08:00

Around half a month passed. We report there everyday without fail and spend an average of 6 hours there per day. Resulting us to treat there as our 2nd home, our "living room", our corridor, our drink machines, our car park and of course the 8 lifts belong to us too. Just take a look at the sleeping posture of my dear bro and how comfortable my little is.

Jstee and Celest brought a new earpiece(headphone) each.
Awww.... So pretty, the colour scheme is so so so so NICE.... I WANT TOO!!!! But $35 for a new earpiece(headphone) is wayyyy out of my budget =(
I'm finding a earpiece under $10(hopefully~)

Oh it's a singalong song.

2009-11-19T18:15:00.010+08:00

Need to buy new one now. =(

方大同x簫敬騰 are new LOVE!

Went to watch meteor shower(supposed to be shower) yesterday morning but it ended up with only meteor. Managed to see 4 meteor stars shooting across the sky. One of them was really very different because it has a purplish-blue tail, more of like a smoke kind, behind it.
So now I have 4 wishes on hand! Hehe.... =p

Meteor rain.

2009-11-17T22:50:00.005+08:00

Psychology debate was easier than what I've thought. The guy which everyone was telling me to look out for was quite disappointing. It's either he did not go full force, or I've over-estimated his ability.

CSB was abit disappointing. Probably due to the fact that I'm already half dead by 3pm.

And I'm will enjoy what's going to happen later. =)

The flying pen.

2009-11-16T20:00:00.004+08:00

Its the pen on the right, but normally it should be on the left. hmmm....

Life is not all work, work is not all hard toil.

2009-11-15T22:03:00.003+08:00

Your soul wants the freedom to sing, dance, love. As your body needs nourishment - food, drink, sleep, so does your soul need nourishment - sing, dance, love. Life is not all work, work is not all hard toil. Nourish your soul with the food that is right for it, for it is the altar of your own inner temple.

It's time for entertainment, I need some entertainment!

Jstee and Ywky will be going for a holiday with their friends. HSQ is so so so so busy with acheivers' day. This week seems so dull.

Shall do up finance analysis in school tomorrow. (I got an inventory turnover of 645. *BANG HEAD ON WALL*)

ps. I need a short getaway trip....

some things abt Bugis on 14th Nov.

2009-11-14T18:19:00.008+08:00

There's a thing good about spending my time at Bugis; I can really do work.

Checklist:

~~HSQ's animation~~ 13th Nov, 5am

~~Psychology (my part) - Saturday~~ 13th Nov, 3.57pm

~~HR Challenge - Sunday~~ 13th Nov, 6.34pm

~~Service Marketing (my part) - Monday~~ 14th Nov, 6.19pm

Psychology debate - Monday night/Tuesday morning

CSB interview - Tuesday, 4pm

Business development (this is freaking scary. FINANCE analysis!) - Wednesday

Service Marketing - 22nd Nov (compile)

ps. i think i should start on BD before psycho.

Update.

2009-11-13T18:39:00.001+08:00

Checklist:

~~HSQ's animation~~ 13th Nov, 5am

~~Psychology (my part) - Saturday~~ 13th Nov, 3.57pm

~~HR Challenge - Sunday~~ 13th Nov, 6.34pm

Service Marketing (my part) - Monday

Psychology debate - Monday night/Tuesday morning

Business development (this is freaking scary. FINANCE analysis!)-Wednesday

Service Marketing - 22nd Nov (compile)

Time.

2009-11-13T16:06:00.004+08:00

I'm at bugis now. Had been spending tons of hours at bugis since last week. People walking pass and they just look at me with an expression that can't be describe easily because I'm sitting on the floor, along the corridor.

Checklist:

~~HSQ's animation~~ 13th nov, 5am

~~Psychology (my part) - Saturday~~ 13th nov, 3.57pm

HR Challenge - Sunday

Service Marketing (my part) - Monday

Psychology debate - Monday night/Tuesday morning

Business development (this is freaking scary. FINANCE analysis!)-Wednesday

Service Marketing - 22nd Nov (compile)

I think there's more but I can't remember for the moment.

And so I get even busier tonight.

2009-11-13T05:05:00.004+08:00

Just when I thought it's gonna be busy, I get even busier with o.t.h~~~~
I'm just done with it and I'm going to sleep now.
SHIT lah, why is there HR tomorrow lor. Must wake up early. And why am I sleeping so late?!

Busy week.

2009-11-12T22:22:00.003+08:00

I saw someone ('s picture) on my facebook homepage and I'm quite piss about it. !@#$%^&*(()
And talking about this, my sister confess to me last weekend that she accidentally step on her foot and I was like; HUH? How small can the world be?

I thought tomorrow will be a more relax day, but in the end, it's gonna be as busy as the past few days.

Eugenie's fringe style.

2009-11-12T02:00:00.002+08:00

Thanks to your picture. Celestine and me can't stop laughing for about 5mins already! We haven laugh until like that for a very long time already. Thanks manzxc, jinjia.

I really feel like posting the 2 lovable pictures, but I guess I'll get killed tomorrow if I really post them here.

manzxc.

2009-11-12T00:57:00.005+08:00

I have the feeling to give this post this title.
It's just ONLY 60days difference ok? It's even less than 61, k?

I used to wonder why people just go around taking photos with family and friends, especially friends. Aren't they supposed to be forever? Why take pictures? Not confident enough?
With the things that has happened recently and of course the thing that happened for the past one year; yeah, probably they are right.

It's time to take pictures of those happy moments. It's really sad when things happen, you know you remember those happy times but you just can't find any thing that can help you remember more of those touching and happy moments.

Had been running around the past 2 weeks. Had been driving alot of people around and all of them never fails to remind me to drive safely. Last week, my mum even told me to drive safely to school which gave me a shock.

With the things that happened recently, I think it's about time. I promise I'll never drive more than ohnf anymore and I promise to try my best in not thinking about; step on the accelerator, don't brake, forget everything and leave everything behind.

I need time and the more he needs time.
Everything is just not confirmed until today.

Yesterday.

2009-11-11T12:36:00.001+08:00

Was very very very tired yesterday.

I close my eyes whenever I can and everywhere.

once again....

2009-11-10T00:47:00.001+08:00

My sister just reminded me that:
We reach home after buying dinner and I get of the car trying to pull the car key out. Then I tell myself "chiam, key stuck!". Then I realise I forgot to off the engine.

Great!

2009-11-10T00:30:00.003+08:00

Just when I finish the previous post, I accidentally pour a sweet drink on the table!
My mum is having a bad mood these few days and now I have to prepare myself for the scolding tomorrow morning.

getting old.

2009-11-09T23:53:00.002+08:00

Everything started when I got home from school.

Finish a bottle of oolong and I forgot to take a new bottle and put it in the fridge.
Went to buy food and thought of trying the chicken rice near my house, but I reach home with something else.
I wanted to do CSB cover letter and resume, so I set up my laptop. Best part was: when it was all ready and the desktop was shown, I stare blankly at the screen for like 5mins in shock. I was asking myself why did I on the laptop. Then I suddenly remember the word Tutorial, then I ask myself "which module huh?"
Then I remembered cover letter and resume. OK, then I start searching into the sub folders of "School Sem2" and I started to panic cause I can't find the documents. The truth was the documents were right in front of me, it's directly at "School Sem2".
After CSB, I wanted to call Ben. Suddenly I can't remember his handphone number and all I remember was his home number.
Ben din't pick up his phone. Then suddenly I got the urge to blog and I knew what I wanted to blog at that point of time. So I logged in Blogger. After I log in and was about to type, I TOTALLY FORGOT WHAT I WANTED TO BLOG UNTIL NOW.
I WAS LIKE CURSING MYSELF ALREADY.
After talking with Ben over the phone, suddenly I remember that my petrol was low.
I went to esso. When I wanted to pay, I forgot my smiles card and I ran back to the car to get it.
The LOL thing was: I paid by nets and when I was required to press my pin number, I stare at the machine and this is what I ask myself "Shit! what is the number huh? what is the first number huh?"

Huh?

2009-11-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

I don't know what I want to blog.
LOL
=p

Trying hard.

2009-11-09T17:21:00.003+08:00

Trying hard not to become a person which I don't want.

Does the sentence makes sense to you?
I don't think it did.

So worried about tomorrow.

It's scaring me and I don't know what to do.

S.O.S

Memories.

2009-11-09T00:26:00.003+08:00

I remember there's a particular photo of a Gong and me
but i just couldn't find it.
Memories. And it makes me hate to grow up.
Truth hurts but there’s nothing we can do to change this fact.
All we can do is to accept it, do your best
and I believe that God will take take care of the rest.

I love you a Gong <3

There's time for everything.

2009-11-05T20:36:00.002+08:00

How long have you not went home to eat dinner with your grandparents or went to pay your grandparents a respect?

Maybe it's time to do so....

Secret.

2009-11-04T01:04:00.002+08:00

my wardrobe is like a rainbow. and i think i can/will buy more. ohgosh!

Untitled.

2009-11-04T00:47:00.000+08:00

Untitled.

2009-11-04T00:32:00.002+08:00

I was stuck. I was in this place, in between my future and my past, and I wasn’t sure which I one I wanted more. But I guess it was only natural, you know? To dream of a love from long ago, or nights spent with friends you used to know. These people had long since gone, and part of you wanted them back, and you hated to admit it. That was the funny part. like admitting you missed people or things or times long ago made you weak or something. And sometimes I would curl up by my window and stare off into the stars, dreaming of my future, the love and friends I had yet to come. Part of me just wanted to throw myself into the future and the other part wanted to hurl myself into my past.

Untitled.

2009-11-03T23:27:00.001+08:00

i love that we can sit in the silence together and i know that silence is ok.

Untitled.

2009-11-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle.

Untitled.

2009-11-03T22:04:00.003+08:00

School is getting boring.
and I'll buy things to fill up my wardrobe!
My wardrobe is so colourful! =D

Conversation btw Ing Ing & Claudia

2009-11-02T21:51:00.008+08:00

11.30 am

And I know I’m not.

11.42am

她在你身邊逗你開心, 我只不過讓你歇斯底里.

11.47am

I don’t wanna lose you

I don’t wanna use you

Just to have somebody by my side

I don’t wanna hate you

I don’t wanna take you

But I don’t wanna be the one who cry

That don’t really matter, to anyone anymore

But like a fool I keep losing my place, I keep seeing you walk through that door

And there’s no way home, when it’s late at night and all alone

11.51am

我知道 - by2

11.55am

喜帖街

12noon

我就是要這樣

你能拿我怎樣

12.04pm

Learn to say NO.

12.06pm

There must be something wrong with the MLTs’ aircon. It’s freaking cold.

12.07pm

I’m not jealous but why is everyone celebrating Halloween?

12.10pm

Even the lecturer is talking about Halloween. What is Halloween? I never celebrated one before.

12.13pm

When there are poor that are happy, there are rich who are lonely. That’s life.

12.18pm

I feel like going home. When is school ending?

12.20pm

i miss 大熊, like forever.

1.00pm

My birthday is coming.

1.35pm

My SM group sucks.

2.35pm

I flipped SM tutorial handout, and I’m graduating in a few weeks time. Was Poly life memorable? Definitely, no.

2.37pm

MST is approaching in about 3 weeks.

2.40pm

Nope, it’s 4 weeks.

2.42pm

I WANT TO EAT ICE CREAM!!!!

-Creamy Creamy, Daily Scoop, Golden Mile?, Beach Road….

I WANT EAT ICE CREAM!!!!

I don’t know why I’m having this craving.

2.45pm

Teacher said “moment of truth”. I din’t catch any word but these. Moment of Truth, this Wednesday 4/11/09 @ 12.30pm.

2.49pm

This tutorial is getting bored. Can the teacher go to the next question so that I can check my answer? Stop saying about this question!

2.51pm

Who wants to come back Singapore Poly? Funny.

2.55pm

Learn to say NO to people I care. Cause I know how to say NO to people I don’t care.

3.07pm

I forgot to deposit cheque! It’s like don’t know how many days le!

3.09pm

I’m starting to enjoy having conversation with myself.

3.13pm

Can she start the lecture?

3.14pm

Shit! I feel so bad in this lecture hall. Like so extra, as if there’s me or without me it’s the same. I feel like existing the lecture hall NOW! So EXTRA, yeah and I feel like crying. FUCK!

3.16pm

Don’t cry!

3.19pm

I really feels that I’m extra. I’m trying to talk to myself so I don’t cry. I’m writing to keep myself busy.

3.20pm

When going to school makes me feel extra. Attending SM lectures makes me feel worst.

3.23pm

I don’t like coming to school. There’s nothing exciting, positive, happy about being here.

3.25pm

If I could love God alittle more.

3.26pm

Don’t tear. I really don’t like attending SM lecture.

3.27pm

Can I don’t attend SM lecture anymore?!

Shut up! I should listen to lecture NOW!

3.31pm

Life is wishes grant too late. At least it applies to me.

3.39pm

It’s raining outside. There’s thunder. And I want to cry.

3.41pm

Have I taken medicine? I don't know and I don't care.

3.41pm

I’ve been talking to myself since 11.30 am. Woah, actually I have so many things to talk in school. But why am I not talking more than 10 sentence in school everyday for like at least half a year?

3.44pm

I don’t like SM lecture.

3.45pm

And it starts with the letter ‘L’.

3.48pm

I feel better. Is it because lecture is ending?

3.50pm

Lecturer has been touching on weird topics.

3.54pm

Argh!

3.55pm

And what does this means?

In the past, I’m always the one making effort to find people. Stupid me!

And for the past one year, I've realised; No one bothers to make the same effort towards me. To other people, it doesn’t makes any difference whether I’m there or not. I must be a nuisance to them in the past and no one bothers to tell me the truth.

4.10pm

And I’ve make up my mind. I won’t be attending SM lecture anymore.

Untitled.

2009-11-02T17:58:00.000+08:00

school, really isn't a nice place to be in.

Life is wishes grant too late or those which will never be your wishes come true.

2009-11-01T16:15:00.003+08:00

First week of school was a blessing.
Second week of school was full of surprises.

I need motivation to school, maybe not to attend lesson, but to motivate me that school is a nice place to be in, to show me that school is a happy place.

2009-10-31T22:37:00.003+08:00

you said something that really warms my heart today....
=)

big wishes.

2009-10-31T01:33:00.003+08:00

feels like going for a short trip,
or maybe a chalet,
or maybe too many.

Untitled.

2009-10-31T01:02:00.002+08:00

If I could love God a little more, probably just a little more....

as long as you're breathing, you're not falling.

2009-10-30T23:00:00.007+08:00

And its just one day difference,
I need more than just motivation to school.
But also some encouragement.
Some happy things to happen.
Some place to explore.
Some nice outing to go to.
Some great movie.
Some good food to eat.
Some nice desert to taste.
Someone to pray with.
Someone who can make me love God more.
I need some encouragement, care and love.

I won't fall. =)

我的快樂

2009-10-29T23:52:00.002+08:00

I NEED MOTIVATION.

2009-10-29T23:20:00.004+08:00

Cravings.

2009-10-29T21:34:00.001+08:00

家好月圓

2009-10-29T13:44:00.002+08:00

家好月圓第三十五集, 讓我想起一件已經不記得的事.

Sunday Morning.

伯牙 和 子期 都是男的。

再見王子

Don't want.

懦弱

my best friend, he trust me over the rumors.

不愛孤單. 但一久了， 我好像也習慣了..

Sorry Mt,

Times of my life.

回頭看怕懦弱，往前走怕墜落....

我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶 擺在心底不管別人說的多麼難聽 誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你 =)

The hardest part of gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche.

我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶 誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你

命運好幽默.

The start of gaining marks the start of losing. The more you gain, the more you lose and the more it hurts.

38.5

You alone cannot change the world.

All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the past together again.

If only life can be interpreted so easily like maths equation.

Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, but somewhere in the middle we‘d became best of friends.

If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.

As perfume to the flower, so is kindness to speech.

And remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.

Let me be immune.

World Ready Youths.

Life is a Basketball match.

Happiness sometimes can be very very simple.

Snowing.

Heaven never helps the man who will not act.

I Love You.

An important life skill is the ability to kick your own ass into action before someone else does it for you.

Time to grow up, stop wishing.

Learnt not wish, hope and trust.

The most handsome Mexican dimples.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.

I want to stop tweeting, tumblring, facebooking & blogging.

Whoo~!

Christmas is coming.

It stops growing when I stop questioning.

It's our territory.

Oh it's a singalong song.

Meteor rain.

The flying pen.

Life is not all work, work is not all hard toil.

some things abt Bugis on 14th Nov.

Update.

Time.

And so I get even busier tonight.

Busy week.

Eugenie's fringe style.

manzxc.

Yesterday.

once again....

Great!

getting old.

Huh?

Trying hard.

Memories.

There's time for everything.

Secret.

Untitled.

Untitled.

Untitled.

Untitled.

Untitled.

Conversation btw Ing Ing & Claudia

Untitled.

Life is wishes grant too late or those which will never be your wishes come true.

big wishes.

Untitled.

as long as you're breathing, you're not falling.

我的快樂

Cravings.

家好月圓

伯牙和子期都是男的。

不愛孤單. 但一久了，我好像也習慣了..

我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶擺在心底不管別人說的多麼難聽誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你 =)

我喜歡你是我獨家的記憶誰也不行從我這個身體中拿走你