Suddenly, the pain came back tonight.. I don't know why..
Probably....
because recently, too many people are trying to tear open and look inside my wound.
Just please stop. Please don't try to open up my heart and see what's inside. The thought of the act reminds me of someone and reminds me of the memories..
So what's the problem that I've changed?
So what's the problem that I don't talk like I used to do?
So what's the problem that I don't laugh like that past?
So what's the problem that I don't smile like the past?
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM ABOUT ME 很努力的讓自己快樂？
因為我學到太容易得到的快樂並不會長久
因為那是別人借我的
拿回去了就沒了
My best friend is someone whom when I tell other people:
“就算他要分手也不會那麼快的。 因為這麼難才能在一起， 他也有男人的尊嚴的。”
(I remembered that sentence clearly, how I phrase it and the tone I said it because I was trying to convince other people that my best friend is not a bad guy. I said it twice.)
and when people misunderstand that sentence and tell him:
"now you are not breaking up because of your pride"
he will chose to trust me rather than other people.
Just like how I trust him over other people.
And of course my best friend is clear about my principle from the start:
"the closer the person is to me, I won't be close with their partner."
Because I am clear how 同情心氾濫 I am. So to prevent any problems that will arise in the future, I make clear lines with their partner, so that their problems won't be mine and my friend's.
Of course along the poly life, I didn't stand strong with my principle thrice and I made friends with my friends partner.
One is inevitable because the 3 of us are classmate.
Second is because the partner happens to be my friend's best friend and the 同情心氾濫 me, in the end 同情心氾濫 again and again.
Third is because I got no choice, she happens to be my group mate.
Oh what's that fan page over at facebook?
Right that "Relationships And Friendships Get Ruined Because Of Rumors.."
I'm joining that fan page....
And I feel like telling those people who don't know the existence of this blog,
please don't try to open up my heart
because
just the thought of it makes me feel tired and disgusted.
